...we have left our thumb prints in the thick, moist clay of each other's lives.
~Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, May 6, 2003

I always have SO many thoughts..to chew on, to digest and to express. I guess its because I have always been fascinated by the psychological side of life. Every single day I see and understand something that I did not know the day before and I am constantly surprised and excited about it. My husband Mark and I often joke that the epitaph on my tombstone should probably read "You know I was thinking..."

The main quest of my 20's was to be "enlightened". However in retrospect, I think it was more to "appear enlightened" not really be enlightened....regardless, I was very passionate about the search. I remember barging excitedly into my parents house one evening and announcing to them that I had truly figured out life (I think I was about 23 at the time). My theory was that from then on ...I was just going to "BE"...(whatever the hell that meant.) They said..."Oh good, we're really happy for you", and then they went back to sleep.

Now 21 years later, I'm starting to think that learning to just "Be", at least in regards to "Being yourself", is probably one of the most important things that we can actually learn to do in our lives. But its not the easiest thing to do.

Not only is it challenging to discover our own voice —what it is that we have to offer the world, but to then have the courage to express it, is an even greater challenge. Allowing ourselves to really open up and reveal what we have inside is not easy, comfortable or always approved of, and it requires a huge amount of courage and trust.

The people around us and the circumstances in our lives often have a huge influence on how open we let ourselves be and the parts of ourselves that we feel comfortable expressing. Sometimes you don't even realize that you have been keeping a part of yourself hidden until you find someone who recognizes it, validates it and then reflects that part back to you thus encouraging you to open up more.

Those are the people that leave lasting impressions on our life. Perhaps even inspiring us to learn how to eventually live continually in a state of aliveness, openness, confidence and trust.

That must be where the saying "you impress me" comes from...

"tis the season to be...busy..."

Lots of fun Christmas gigs so far (and many coming up...)


I'm always so busy I never get a chance to take photos of the pictures that I draw at events but here is one that I managed to snap since they were the last couple I drew on Friday night. I think they made a great cartoon portrait!

Now...to get to all those commissions I need to get done.

...and of course some music to draw to...

At first glance
I loved you
with a thousand hearts
~Mihri Hatun


17 years together...
24,901 miles traveled,
5205 days filled with laughter,
4765 hours of conversation,
3536 bottles of red wine shared,
1768 dinners of spaghetti,
984 items lost (and later found),
657 books read,
239 times you've hit your head on something,
57 Fringe festivals we've survived,
15 years of (a fantastic) marriage,
6 guitars to play,
3 beautiful children to raise,
2 motorcycles to ride,
and a budgie named Snowy.

I still adore you with all my heart Mark....happy anniversary!

For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes.
~Dag Hammarskjold (1905 - 1961)

Happy early "Turkey Day" to all my American friends....
Charlie Chaplin's Thanksgiving Meal

Ok...tell me this doesn't look like we had fun!

What a blast it was working with the Grade 5/6 students from St. Justin's Elementary School yesterday at the Jubilee Auditorium. The kids were great and believe it or not we finished the "fairy tale house project" in under 2 hours. Check out some of the students work...



I was so thrilled and amazed at the freedom the kids felt in experimenting with the techniques I demonstrated (and of course the teachers too). It really was a room full of creative energy. Thanks Jen (good friend and Manager of Community Engagement) for the gig and all your hands on help!). Also thanks again Tad for the use of your wonderful photos!

After teaching I met with a talented group of Book binders and Book artists at the Faculty club for dinner, a casual meeting and a book exchange. I have attended less than a handful of get-togethers in the last 4 years but have always felt so included and welcome by the group.

As I drove home from the meeting last night, I thought about how much I have worked the past 14 days since getting back from North Carolina — probably close to 10 hours a day(or more). There have been so many deadlines that I had already pushed to the limit by being away, that really I had no choice and believe me, my family has been so incredibly understanding and supportive.

I was reminded though of this wonderful quote from Vikki of the Waifs..."In the last 5 months I've been a part time mother and a full time touring musician. People always ask me "how does it work, mothering and touring?" Well, it doesn't, really."

...she's so right, in a way— that only a mother (or possibly a dad) can understand....

and so I have decided today I'm just going to be Mom...and Piper and I will have a fun day doing something while blasting this song while the boys are at school because it REALLY IS her favourite song...

Mr. Pine lived on Vine Street in a little white house. "A white house is fine," said Mr. Pine, "but there are FIFTY white houses all a line on Vine Street. How can I tell which house is mine?"
~Mr. Pine's Purple House



When I was a child, my favourite book was Mr. Pine's Purple House. I thought about that book a lot today as i was gessoing the board houses for tomorrow's workshop.

The book is about a man who wants to make his house stand out from the 49 other white houses on his block by trying to do many different things (and his trials and tribulations along the way). I had the book memorized when I was little and still to this day can recite certain pages.

Its interesting how the philosophy in those pages is still a fundamental element in my life today and that I somehow recognized it in that book when I was 3 years old.

Life is like getting dropped off in the middle of the woods, and then year by year, gradually walking home.
~April Foiles


I will be doing this mixed media project on Monday afternoon with grade 5 and 6 students. They are part of the Jube School Program taking place here at the Northern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium.

The theme next week is "Fairy Tales" and so I decided to create a fairy tale house in the woods...like so many fairy tales have. The project is made using a children's board book page. The amazing tree photos have been generously loaned to me by my friend and wonderful photographer Tad Barney.



Well I'm off to the studio now to prepare 60+ houses, listening of course to some tunes while I work...

I'm aching...

I called my oldest son a jerk today on our way to school. I really tied into him how he quite often acts like a jerk. Sure he was acting like a jerk to his brother, but I really have to stop reacting this way.

I hate it. I hate the fact that we never spoke again and he went off to school. I know that when I pick him up I will apologize and explain why I reacted that way and he will say its OK but that its one more of those moments in his life.

How is it that our kids can bring out emotions and reactions in us that no other situation in our life does?

Even though I have things I should be doing...I'm going to the studio to paint.

“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
~Bertrand Russell



One of my best talents in life is "wasting time"...or rather doing what I "shouldn't" be doing, when I "should" be doing something else. I've always done it. I was a dawdler, a daydreamer, and a doodler.

I'll spend hours emailing friends instead of doing my administration work. I'll do my administration work when I should be cleaning the house. I'll clean the house when I have a commission that I should be painting. I'll spend a day painting when I should be working on computer layout work. I'll spend all night working on computer layout work when I should be sleeping.

Yes, I'll admit its rather inconvenient when I then have to scramble at the last minute to get the stuff that I "should have" been doing done on time...but you know what, it always gets done.

I don't know why I need to work this way, but I do. I can diligently make out a map for the day but inevitably I always end up taking the scenic route...and in some strange way I'm ok with this...

When one has much to put into them, a day has a hundred pockets.
~Friedrich Nietzsche

How I spent my 1440 minutes yesterday:

Helping with homework: 12 minutes
Laundry: 15 minutes
Juicing: 21 minutes
Phone calling: 22 minutes
Responding to children issues: 27 minutes
Taking kids to/from school: 32 minutes
Journaling: 36 minutes
Cooking: 43 minutes
Bed time reading/cuddling: 46 minutes
Eating: 59 minutes
Art administration work: 84 minutes
Duty mom at play school: 150 minutes
Computer design work: 240 minutes
Sleeping: 290 minutes
Procrastinating: 363 minutes...because well, my mind just tends to sometimes wander...

Feet, why do I need them if I have wings to fly?
~Frida Kahlo



...but then there are days when I'm too overwhelmed to fly...
so I just listen to music.

The Wonders of Tissue Paper

For those of you inquiring about how to get the transparency in these pages...they are achieved by photocopying images onto white or cream coloured tissue paper. The way to do this without jamming up your printer is to cut a piece of tissue paper the same size as a piece of regular paper, then lightly run a glue stick on the top of the regular paper and place the top of the tissue paper evenly onto it. This should allow it to feed through your printer/copier.


It makes a fantastic transparent image that can then be collaged into your altered book using soft gel medium. First paint a layer of gel on the page and then gently place the tissue paper down onto it. I then paint another layer of soft gel on top. Because of the delicacy of the tissue paper, it does tend to rip sometimes but in my opinion it just adds more visual interest to the page. I absolutely LOVE the way it allows the text from underneath to show through.

I have also used tracing paper which works really well but is not as transparent.

I discovered this technique in the book The Art of Personal Imagery by Corey Moortgat. It is a FANTASTIC book of inspiration and mixed media techniques for anyone interested in creative journaling or altered book making.

Here's some sunshine for you...I'm just so happy to see that I'm not the ONLY person who happens to (sometimes) sleep in their clothes...

A clean studio, a fresh perspective, and of course more thoughts about Raleigh….

I spent a lot of the day yesterday cleaning and reorganizing my studio. As I was unpacking art supplies from my trip, I came across these leaves. Suddenly I remembered the walk I took on the second morning of the convention.

Although everything had finally worked out (amidst the canceled flight, the lost luggage, and the panic that I hadn’t actually registered), I was still feeling a little lost. I wasn’t quite sure what to do when I got up that morning. There wasn’t a session until 1 p.m. and I hated wandering through the hotel looking lost. Since I didn’t really understand the competition room upstairs yet— as in "where" exactly I was supposed to set up (since everyone seemed to have already claimed their “space”), or that everyone was just supposed to start drawing everyone else (and of course I felt too shy to ask people to pose for me), so I decided to go for a walk.

It was raining, which I love because then I’m automatically (but of course theoretically) allowed do all the things I love to do inside like paint, write, draw, or read. When its hot and sunny outside, I feel like I should be out windsurfing, even though I don’t actually windsurf. Anyway, as I walked in the rain, I suddenly felt lighter. The colours of the autumn leaves were vibrant and back lit by the water, and since “our” autumn leaves fell over 5 weeks ago, seeing them again was such a treat. As I looked for special ones to pick up, I automatically felt like myself again, doing what I love to do outside— wander, think and collect souvenirs of those moments for my journals.

While the intense caricature world that I had just flown into was very exciting, I was a bit overwhelmed by it all AND the fact that I only had 5 days left away from my family— to replenish my depleted mothering patience and enthusiasm. I walked and thought a lot about what I was doing in Raleigh and how I fit into this new world of obvious and remarkable talent. I found a coffee shop and sat for a while trying to figure out what I had really come for and what would make this the most fulfilling week for me. Then figured out a strategy that I could adopt to keep me a float the rest of the week.

All that I came up with was my automatic “default settings" plan— retreat and be alone. I figured the best thing I could do was to take the time to really enjoy my 'free' mental time (without my motherhood duties) and just draw and paint in my hotel room away from the competition. This way I wouldn’t add stress to a trip that was meant to de-stress my life. By spending the time alone, I would certainly have had enough quietness by the time I was heading home.

But that’s not what I did. What was so amazing about this convention was that as overflowing in talent as it was, everyone attending seemed to have some feelings of artistic insecurity on some level, and was open to sharing, experimenting, encouraging and supporting others in theirs.


In that atmosphere I slowly began to open up. I spent less and less time alone in my hotel room and by Wednesday I actually brought my art supplies down into the competition room and began to draw and paint. Eventually I didn't even want to leave the energy of the room as it was so enjoyable and addictive.

Now as I sit here breathing in the fresh “after convention” air in my clean studio, I feel so grateful, and really honoured to actually be a part of this community that acknowledges and encourages each other to grow in a helpful, honest and supportive enviromnent.

When I got home, my husband Mark said he was so happy I chose the new path. He was afraid after talking to me on the phone the first night that I would spend the whole week in my room writing and painting and not taking full advantage of what might be there. This experience has shown me that while being alone at times is important, connecting with others can nourish and balance me just as much, if not more sometimes.
and its only getting better...

Thank You!

What a weekend! This past three days at the Stop and Shop Show was an amazing experience. I had the privilege to meet hundreds of people and talk about my art, my journals and altered books, my workshops and of course my caricatures. I really enjoyed all the stories that were shared with me about other's joys and struggles with creativity, with time, with journaling, with motherhood and with their art. Thanks so much for stopping by my booth to take a look, for all your kind words and encouragement, and a big thanks for purchasing something if you did. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed creating it.

Then, after a full day at the Show I had a very busy drawing gig at the Delta Inn South, for the University of Alberta, with the talented Rob Guthrie (thanks to my favourite Ohio agent ). It was my first time drawing adults at a long gig since getting back from the convention and I am loving how much my style has developed — feeling more confidence to "kindly" exaggerate and play with the drawings.

The strangest part was that when I heard Christmas music I thought "What are they playing that for?" Oh yeah, this IS a Christmas party. The season is upon us...

Have a great Sunday!

Stop and Shop!
If you are in the Edmonton area, you might want to check out the Stop and Shop show this weekend at the Transalta Bus Barns. 85 emerging designers all under one roof! A great place to find some unique gifts.
I will be there selling my prints, cards, and some original artwork. I will also have gift certificates for Caricatures for sale. Stop by and say hi!

Hope to see you there!

I live not in dreams but in contemplation of a reality that is perhaps the future.
~Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 - 1926),

So many layers...in my feelings, in my thoughts, in my paintings, in my drawings and in my life right now.
I am moving through the layers, moment to moment, darting in and out, avoiding anything extraneous on this path that I am stumbling down. My choices each day are random, rarely logical, and never overtly productive, but they consistently take me to wonderful and unforeseen places.

Two months ago when I registered for the National Caricature Network Convention that took place this past week in Raleigh, North Carolina, I didn't know why it was so important for me to go, but I knew that I needed to go. Of course, on an obvious level—I am a caricature artist and its a convention for caricature artists.

It turned out to be so much more. First of all, I learned more about caricatures and drawing than I really thought I needed to learn. (insert deflated ego picture here) Also, for someone who has been a professional caricature artist for 24 years you would think I'd have known more about the whole industry than I actually did. (insert light bulb image here) The icing on the cake though, was the amazing new friendships and fantastic memories that I am now enjoyably collaging into my life along with the thrill of being part of an international caricature community (albeit one that doesn't necessarily recognize me from day to day).

For me, the convention was also as much about "stepping away" from my life here as it was about "being there". How wonderful it felt to get up from my chair, walk away and have the chance to look at my life from a distance, just like I do numerous times with my paintings and drawings. Here at home, I have 3 young children and a studio in my house. My entire creative life exists simultaneously (yet not always cohesively) among the responsibilities, the demands, and the chaos. In Raleigh, my art was all I was required to think about for a week.

So now back in Edmonton, in the snow, with a bit of the post-convention blues, I really wish it could have gone on longer. However, as I get back to the gigs and the drawing board, I am relieved to see that my eye is sharper, my drawing is better and undoubtedly my life is richer. Just like a beautiful translucent glaze, my time at the convention has added a much needed layer to my career and brought some of my struggling creative elements together.

I really can't wait till next year...

A Great Week Away!
Just got home last night from the National Caricature Network convention in Raleigh, North Carolina. What an amazing, humbling, inspiring and exciting experience. So many talented artists under one roof; so many styles, so much creativity, so many new ideas, so much alcohol...
I really enjoyed the opportunity to try merging my mixed media with my caricatures...something very new for me. I can't wait to see where this path will take me. This is a photo of my first painting with the Okie artist.
This morning I had a gig (happy birthday Sidney) and was right back at it.
On the long flight home I had time to reflect and make some notes for next year's cnvention...

Trying out my new tablet...



Its so much fun! (but I need a bit of practice).

Artists can color the sky red because they know it's blue. Those of us who aren't artists must color things the way they really are or people might think we're stupid.
Jules Feiffer
US cartoonist & satirist (1929 - )

There will be Time...

This is a painting that I did about 6 years ago with the wonderful poem "There will be Time" written by the Mothering Magazine editor and author Peggy O'Mara. I used to think that people like her were "out of my communication league, or impossible to actually write to" so I never bothered to try writing her to see if she was ok with me making prints of the painting. On Sunday I changed my mind and found her email on the Mothering website— Yesterday after a full day of drawing I arrived home to her lovely response. Below are the emails...

Dear Peggy,
I stumbled upon Mothering Magazine 11 years ago and it was and is such a wonderful resource for me as I struggled to come to grips with my new life as a mother and an artist. Your poem "There will be time” was a part of my daily mantra at that time. Years ago, I did a mixed media collage painting using your poem and it has hung in my home for me to read whenever I needed support and reassurance. Now three kids later (with my youngest already 4), the free time margin is slowly getting wider again and I feel myself breathe deeper again.

I have had a number of requests from people for prints of the painting but because it is as much your art as mine I have declined to copy it. I always assumed it would be impossible to contact you and see if I could get your permission to use the poem (or what it would require/cost for that) Recently though I have realized how small the world has come with the internet as I wrote to another writer and then actually received a response from her. So it has just occurred to me that possibly if I wrote to you and sent you an image of the painting then you would consider this.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this, when you have the time.

Best Regards,
Cathy McMillan


Dear Cathy,
It's raining today and I'm sitting by the fire answering emails before going into the office. Your email is a gift. How beautifully and powerfully you have visually represented my poem. It takes me back to the years when I wrote it, to those early days with my babies. So lovely. And, in fact, there is so much time now.
You have my permission to make prints of this painting with my poem. You have credited me well on the piece. If you ever make A LOT of money from the prints, you can send me some. :)
Love,
Peggy

Her email was a gift to me as well.

Faces

I have never been aware before how many faces there are. There are quantities of human beings, but there are many more faces, for each person has several.
~Rainer Maria Rilke

Pedicures and Caricatures
This afternoon I had four lovely women come to my studio to be drawn. They had just spent the morning having pedicures done and as a surprise to the bride, the maid of honour had arranged for me to draw them all on their Spa day outing.
A whole different kind of Stagette!...(although I was reassured that they were all heading out for a night on the town tonight with their freshly painted toes.

The sound of my footsteps...


I spent the last 4 days on the west coast visiting a very good friend—first on Gabriola Island and then in Vancouver. Apart from the great time we had catching each other up on the news in our lives, the thing that was the most amazing for me was the silence on the island. As I walked around her yard and then down on the beach I could so clearly hear my own feet walking through the rocks and crunching leaves. (It was as if the volume had been turned up to 11). It was just the most amazing feeling.

I thought how wonderful it would be if that were how loud the voice inside us sounded all the time, letting us know exactly what we wanted, needed, felt and thought.

Perhaps it really is that loud but like with the footsteps on the island, we have to get away from the distraction and chaos of our lives to hear it that clearly.

A fun Office Party that I was invited to...

Authentic Moments

This weekend I was thrilled to be asked to draw at the Canmore Nordic Centre. Another caricature artist, Mark Cromwell (from Calgary) and I were to draw the top three winners in each age and race category of the 5 Peaks Race. What a great reason to whisk my family off for a weekend in the mountains!

As I was blasting this song while driving through the beautiful rocky mountains on my way to the drawing gig, I felt that huge sense of aliveness that comes when where you are and what you are doing in life feels 100% right.

Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
—Harold Thurman Whitman

The end of summer...

The Fringe went really well this year- lots of REALLY warm weather, many people wanting their pictures drawn and for the first time I had prints available. Thanks to everyone who bought my cards and prints, got their pics drawn or who just stopped by to say hi.
In the next week (or so) I will have prints and cards available on line. Also if you are interested in getting your face drawn and supporting a good cause at the same time- this weekend I will be drawing at the Marketplace at Collingwood on Saturday from noon to 5 pm. All the money collected will go to support the Firefighters burn unit.

A Very Busy Time... a big thank you to everyone who stopped by my Art Walk Booth —to have their faces drawn, look at my paintings or browse through my journals. It was wonderful to talk to everyone and thank you so much for all the wonderful comments about my work. It was a fantastic sunny weekend! I hope you all enjoy your drawings and paintings a lot. I will have more available at my Fringe booth Aug. 14-24 right in front of the Walterdale Theatre.
















Here's a peek at a few of my paintings that were sold...and more presents for teachers... The shoe card I made was inspired by the "Red Shoe Reader" altered book by Gaza Bowen that I had the opportunity to see in the Bruce Peel special collections of the Rutherford Library at the University of Alberta. I created the acordian pocket book so that my son's kindergarten class could all write on tags to their teacher and they would just slide right in as a special souvineer of a great year.






The tags books were for the three wonderful assistant teachers that helped make the year run smooth.

This summer so far I have been all over the province drawing— in Bonnyville for Canada Day, in Calgary for a Stampede Event, in Wainwright for their Centennial Celebration as well as a very fun staff party for IKEA. Life is BUSY!