Wednesday, August 12, 2009

"LOOK at ME, LOOK at ME"

You know I have been thinking a lot lately about the word "validation" and who needs to be validated...

If you are a parent or a teacher of young children that answer is obvious. We all do. We all need on going proof that we exist and that it matters to someone out there. I think its a basic human need to "continually feel validated throughout our lives", especially about the things that make us unique.

Of course, the older we get, the less comfortable we feel screaming "LOOK at ME" across the room, so its easy to dismiss that need and think we should just get over it. However, that line of thinking leads us down a path where we then allow people into our lives who sustain that belief by hoarding, negotiating, and controlling their offerings of validation. Over time we get convinced that there is something wrong with us because we crave verification that we are alive, that we are understood, acknowledged, seen.

Recently I experienced the difference between being a student in a workshop where I felt seen and one where I felt invisible, and my experiences were very coloured by that. I suddenly realized how much power an instructor has and how its not all just about the transfer of information from one person to another.

Although I am still in the process of redefining this...I think a good teacher is someone who really sees the student, tries to take the time to understand what they need and offers it in a way that allows them to feel acknowledged, seen...validated.


Niall O loughlin said...

I valiidate you, how's that for a start!

Caricature Girl said...

thanks Niall :)