Friday, April 01, 2011

Detox Day 10
Wholeness—a force much stronger than Will Power

I was trying to think of a word that describes what I feel like after 10 days...
exuberance?, not really.
awesome?...well yeah, but kind of overused.

Then I came up with it.....
I just feel "whole".
Nothing is missing.
There is no need or craving to eat or drink anything that my body doesn't need physically and I don't think about food at all during the day, except when I am really hungry.

Last night, after I dropped off all my art to the gallery, I felt a HUGE wave of accomplishment. I really did it!
Five weeks ago, I had been panicking because I was way behind in painting, due to the winter flu boarding at our house in January and February. Once everyone was well again, I gave it everything I had.

Tonight, when I stepped out of the gallery, the first thought I had was "I really deserve a glass of wine tonight." And since, in my world, there are always exceptions to the rule, even during a detox, I decided I would.

But the strangest thing happened when the 5 of us sat down to watch a movie and Mark asked if I wanted a glass of wine.
I said "You know what, I don't think so".

Yeah... even I had a double take.

Did I really just say that?

It wasn't will power. (If anything I have VERY little will power, especially in regards to externally applied things like budgets, diets, routines and especially to NOT drinking wine.)

It was something else. I just felt like I was in a place where I could actually decide what I wanted to do, not just give in to a pattern or a habit or a craving without thinking. That is what is fascinating about this kind of detox. When you get your body to an alkaline place, you just feel whole, and your head is clear to make a decision about whether you really do want something or not.

All I could think of was, you know, its only 11 more days and I am almost halfway there.

Perhaps, I did it because the feeling of accomplishment from my show was still sitting in the room with me and as I looked over at it, I thought "I want more of that in my life".

1 comment:

Tony Mac said...

Brilliant I want to be in that place !