Monday, September 18, 2006

You know I've been thinking lately...about time. Time travel in particular. A huge concept I know, and definitely one that requires a lot of consideration. Our book club met tonight at my house and discussed The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Unfortunately I didn't have time to actually finish reading the book but it has left a real question in my mind. Is time travel possible? I'm not sure. In the particular way that it was illustrated in this book— I think not, but perhaps by some other definition. I know that I can feel transplanted in time simply by seeing someone or something I haven't seen in years or just by a certain smell or sound. Is it just jogging my memory or am I really time traveling back to "that" moment in some other place?

When we refuse to accept and live in the present moment, is that time travel? If so, I've been a time traveler my entire life. I've always loved living in "tomorrow", "later", and "some day". They hold so much more creative and fearless potential than "today", "here" and "now". As much as I've been an advocate for the "live in the moment" movement, I'm actually quite a "one day when I get there" kind of person. I love to live in the future! Sometimes its not even my future. I feel so much at home there! I can make everything bright colours and beautiful. I can be in control and fully present there!

However, I'm married to a natural "live in the moment" person whom I deeply love and admire. His innate ability to see his world as it is right now and to accept it that way (whether he actually likes it or not) is truly inspiring, sometimes annoying, often frustrating but always extremely refreshing. I would love to live in the time that he lives. I remember a day before we were married, when he was so much in the present moment that he only thought of taking bus fare for the ride to work, not for the ride home. How could anyone be more "present moment" than that?

Lately I feel as though my life is passing too fast without my conscious acceptance and awareness of "now". I'm so tired of thinking ahead or remembering back all the time, instead of just being right here, right now. I don't want any more time to pass without feeling that I was present in this time of my life. Its hard work, but I'm slowly experiencing the transformation of "there" into "here" and "some day" into "now". I even get these occasional and remarkable glimpses of living totally in the present moment. Its really new for me. I love it, but I'm who's going to remember to bring the bus fare for the ride home?

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