Dealing with too much to do...

She loves words...all of them.

the words that wander aimlessly through her mind—especially those
that paint her thoughts perfectly

the brutally honest words that come in through the back door, uninvited and unannounced

the online words that she finds in stolen conversations, that crawl into her lap and keep her warm on winter days

and of course all those extremely well organized words that clutter her shelves

She lives for words

Ok...is it just me ...or does it drive anyone else crazy when you buy garbage bags that are too small for the garbage can that you have in the kitchen? And then you think its going to work until you dump something heavy into it and the bag drops to the bottom and everything overflows into the garbage can.....AHHH!!!...

Wouldn't it be great if there was a

"creative journaling" studio
somewhere?

You know...a place where people could go...

• to get inspired
• to decorate their journal pages
  
• to write
• to make altered books
  
• to chat
• to doodle
• to spill paint
• to do life drawing
• to learn mixed media techniques
• to read books and magazines about all kinds of art forms
• to take classes
• to show off their own art
  
• to drink coffee, tea and sometimes wine
• to have parties and gallery shows
• to share their thoughts about art and life
  

(and who knows...maybe even get their caricature drawn)

Well now there is...Opening SOON
(June 2009)

A place to give your "creativity" a workout on a regular basis.

Life is either always a tight-rope or a featherbed.

Give me a tight-rope.
~Edith Wharton

i am a circus performer
today,
yesterday,
tomorrow...

i live with the strongman
and three occasionally demanding midgets.

i juggle.

i walk on stilts above laundry baskets and unsorted toys.

i bounce on trampolines.

some days i am the fat lady.

some days i am the clown.

i always thought i would one day run away to join the circus
but somewhere along the line, the circus joined me.

so now,
i climb up to
my tight-rope
each morning
and carefully balance everything
as i walk
towards who i truly am.

A Very Happy Easter...
These are pictures from our family get together yesterday. After Mark and I finished doing the dishes from the wonderful dinner my mom prepared, I went outside to see where all the kids had run off to. They were in the park across the street climbing trees and playing with my dad. This is the scene that brought tears to my eyes.

You see, a year ago my dad was suffering from advanced pulmonary fibrosis (a hardening of the lung tissue). He had never smoked and was in great shape (outside of his lungs), so the diagnosis came as quite a surprise to all of us.

By last spring he could barely work in his yard, in his garage or walk very far without breaking into coughing fits and feeling very exhausted. He was on oxygen 24 hours a day and so playing with his 3 grandchildren was no longer physical but had become very stationary and sporadic.

There is no cure for PF, although one course of action is a lung transplant, if the person is healthy and young enough. At 67 he was still eligible, (in Canada he was eligible until 70 years of age) if he was healthy enough. I had never even heard of a lung transplant until my dad told me this story one day shortly after he went on oxygen.

"He and my Mom were shopping at a neighborhood thrift store, which they often do, and a woman approached him and bluntly asked why he was on oxygen. He explained that he had pulmonary fibrosis. She then told him that her husband had had that 5 years ago but underwent a lung transplant and was doing fantastic now. And then she left."

When my Dad told me this story, we both agreed that it was a sign that he was meant to have a transplant and everything would be OK. (The prognosis for people with PF is usually around 3-5 years, and my dad had been already been diagnosed 5 years earlier). My dad eventually went through 6 weeks of daily hospital tests and did qualify for a transplant because of his good health. In November 2007 he officially went on the transplant list, but of course we were worried that he may not find a match in time.

Then on a Saturday morning in June, 2008, he got a call from the hospital saying that a person who had died, had donated their organs and that it was a perfect match for my dad. When he called to tell me, I realized that I never thought that that day would actually come. It was the most frightening day of my life. Believe it or not I had two caricature gigs booked that day and since his operation wouldn't take place immediately, I actually held it together enough to draw at both of them.

That night, he underwent a double lung transplant—a 10+ hour operation (entirely paid for by our amazing health care system) and at 4 am the doctor called my Mom and I to let us know that my dad was doing wonderful, the operation was very successful and and that he was in recovery now.

Within 4 days he was completely off oxygen and then discharged from the hospital 2 weeks and one day after his operation. His doctors and nurses were absolutely amazing and he has done a terrific job of doing exactly what he is supposed to do— eating well, exercising and taking his medication (with my Mom's unwavering support).

He is so healthy now, that its easy to forget how limited his life was a year ago. It wasn't until I remembered that last Easter all he could really do was sit on the couch and watch things, that it has really hit home. My parents are both very special people to me (and to Mark and my kids) and having this extra time to spend with my Dad is something I will always be grateful for.

Deceased donor information is kept confidential in Canada so we were never told who that generous person was. I often wonder about them and am so thankful that they (and their family) have made this possible for our family. I feel very sorry for their loss and that their family is celebrating this holiday without their loved one, but by donating all the organs possible, they have given many families something that we are eternally grateful for.

If anyone questions whether it makes a difference or not to sign your organ donor card—I can guarantee you that it has made a huge difference in our lives.
Please sign your donor card.

Not all luggage that wanders, is lost.

Well, I arrived home late last night from Artfest...exhausted, inspired and believe it or not once again (for the second time on this trip) without my luggage. I know, you must be thinking "Oh, no!" but actually there has been something quite valuable in all this adversity.

When I first arrived in Seattle last Wednesday without my art supplies, toiletries and clothes, I felt very vulnerable and frustrated. However, the frustration was partially diffused by the generous and entertaining spirit of a very special United Airways employee named Glenn. As I watched him engage with each one of the 7 of us from Edmonton, whose luggage loitered behind, I couldn't help but see how his genuine interest in our lives and his inquiring questions about our reasons for being in Seattle, made our experiences far less painful. I actually left the lost luggage counter feeling pretty good, kind of like a traveler again with just my backpack loaded with the few special things I had chosen to bring on board.

Perhaps my frustration was also softened because Artfest is truly a remarkable art retreat. When I arrived and people discovered my luggage was "delayed", I experienced the most generous outpouring of support imaginable—donated art supplies and toiletries, daily concerns of my luggage status and then huge cheers of joy when it was finally delivered on Friday afternoon. Also, spending the time with Tracy while collecting my bags, allowed us the opportunity to have a wonderful conversation that probably would have never happened otherwise and I was able to see just how much he and Teesha do care about everyone that comes to their festival retreats.The shuttle dropped everyone off at the airport Sunday morning but my flight wasn't to leave till 8 pm. I didn't really feel like hanging out at the airport all day so I thought I would try to get on an earlier flight and went to the one ticket counter open where I could change my flight....and guess who was working there? Glenn from the lost luggage counter! Out of all the United Airways employees (there most be hundreds in Seattle), I find it interesting that he's helped me twice. We laughingly caught up on all the lost luggage and Artfest news and he strategically changed my flights without charging me a thing. This time when I arrived in Edmonton at 10:30 and my luggage didn't, I sighed and just went straight to the lost luggage counter and then caught a taxi home with only my backpack.

It was then that I suddenly realized that "losing my luggage" was a valuable part of my wonderful experience at Artfest. Among other things, it gave me a reason to fully engage with the people around me, to be open to the moment for what it was (instead of what I thought it would or should be), and especially to let go of expectations and outcomes in my art even more, which I believe is crucial as an artist.

Oh...I have to go get the door, there's my luggage now.

Dear Tria markers,
I know this might be completely out of the blue... but...I'm breaking up with you. Yes, we have been together for 24 years and have drawn over 40,000 faces together.... but I have met someone else...someone who fulfills my needs the way you no longer do, since your most recent transformation.

In my defense, I really stood by you in the early 90's (during your first transition)...you know, back when all your alcohol was removed (thankfully it was not the alcohol from my life). You weren't as intense but it was also so freeing...all of a sudden I could colour on photocopies.

We had so many great years after that! Sure there were leaks in your poorly designed, refillable cartridges but I was willing to over look that because there were just so many advantages to having you in my life. You were reliable, comfortable and most importantly...refillable.

But then you changed. Suddenly Pantone colours were no longer "good enough" and you changed your whole look. You even had the gall to switch your greys around so that warm grey 1 was now warm gray 9! You also decided to make only certain colours refillable, but coincidently not the ones I need and that was just not OK with me. You really pissed me off!

Yes, you look "snazzier" with your new brush tip and clear body, but you so easily dry out and can barely make it through one of my 4 hour gigs.

I have became nervous having you with me.

Well... as of tonight, its over...and yes...I have been unfaithful. Since you changed, I have been trying out a few others on the side and finally, someone has won my heart. His name is Copic and tonight I moved him into your slots of my felt pen case.

Yes, the rumors are true, he is coming to Artfest with me—not you. Oh and guess what? ...he's "refillable".

Artfest countdown...
Well, I haven't had a spare moment to figure out exactly what goes on with the trades (let alone make anything to trade) and was planning on just being an observer this first time around. Then today I read Jackie Wood's blog and she mentioned that there were no rules to the trades and so I thought "Hey, then why don't I trade caricatures?".

So I made up this background souvenir sheet (and for an example put a drawing of a girl Carly that I drew yesterday) and am offering to draw any one's caricature for a trade. Obviously I won't be able to trade as quickly as the trading seems to happen but if at sometime during the 3.5 days of Artfest you would like your cartoon portrait drawn, then trade something with me...(they take about 5 minutes to draw).

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

~ Henry David Thoreau

I first read this quote about 20 years ago and have written it in my journals a number of times since. When I stumbled upon it tonight I realized that, with all the exciting things going on in my life right now, the idea behind that quote is exactly what I am experiencing ..."advancing confidently in the direction of my own dreams".

This has been a very full week of "endeavoring to live the life that I have imagined"...and part of that wonderful life is drawing faces....so here are some more...

Dear Ry,
Up until 12 years ago today...I thought having children would not change me or my life that much...and then you arrived. You were born on March 26, 1997— a warm spring morning, at our home in Toronto, Ontario, on Howland Ave.

You are an amazing, intense, brilliant, contradictory, talented, demanding, passionate, highly sensitive (but with such a hard shell of indifference sometimes its difficult to see) person.

In the relatively short time that you have been in my life, you have challenged:
my view of the world,
my opinions, beliefs and perceptions about parenting,
and my boundaries, my perspectives, and my limitations in my life MORE than anyone else I have ever met.

Now, as I watch you physically mature into the old soul that you have always been, I think I finally understand. All this time you have been walking beside me, leading me to the threshold of my own maturity.

Thank you for coming into my life and guiding the way.
I love you deeply.
Happy 12th birthday Ryllan.

Love mom

These are the altered book journals that my son Kieran's grade one class made...

The covers are made from old children board book panels; sanded and gessoed and then decorated with paint layering , collage and stamping techniques.
Aren't they just beautiful?
The kids really did an amazing job.
I was so thrilled looking at each one last night as I cut card stock, punched holes and then simply bound them with twine.
Every book is so different from the next,
just like the kids themselves...
In April, I will be going back into their class to teach some creative journaling and drawing to them in their new journals...

Meanwhile so many thoughts distracting me while I try to get ready and finish up my last bits of work before I leave for Artfest next week.
And just when I thought I had a handle on
all the other exciting big steps going on around me...
Journalfest registration opened today!

Doesn't every 5 year old girl want to be a mermaid?my process to get her there...

I haven't done a lot of mixed media portraits since the NCN convention in North Carolina last November and so I really enjoyed painting this one for a friend. The tail is filled with special collage elements, chosen for this particular mermaid.

I just love it when my two art worlds (drawing faces and mixed media) collide. I am looking forward to a place in time when they have the opportunity to collide more often.

For me...
the start of Spring was filled with
caricatures...

ear aches...
and icicles...

I finally finished the caricature commission (above) today. yeah! Its been a rough couple of weeks. Almost all of my time has been consumed by taking care of sick kids with on and off fevers, sore throats and ear aches. Its just so rough to get anything done when my kids are sick. Ryllan finally managed to go back to school yesterday and not come home with a fever. Poor little Pip had a really horrible day with her "first ever" ear ache.
I'm crossing my fingers now that Ryllan is fully recovered (although still coughing) and that Piper is hopefully on the road to recovery very soon. Kieran really lucked out this time and didn't catch anything.

The snow is finally STARTING to melt...and I am REALLY hoping that our Spring will actually come SOON! Let's hope they were just kidding about it snowing 5 cm tomorrow.)

Now I'm heading off to draw caricatures at the
Dovercourt Community Hall for "Pub Night".
If you are invited...I'll see you there!

Here is a commission for a birthday gift I just finished tonight...


and a soccer team I drew on Sunday night...

..Just think only 27 more faces to draw from photos...
26 grade one journals to bind together,
5 live caricature gigs,
4 altered book/ journaling classes to teach,
1 altered book/ journaling workshop to prep for and
1 playschool fieldtrip to attend
BEFORE
I go to Artfest...
we're in the Homestretch NOW!

Overwhelmed

O`ver*whelmed"\, v. t. [p. pr. & vb. n. Overwhelming.]1. To cover over completely, as by a great wave; to overflow and bury beneath; to ingulf; hence, figuratively, to immerse and bear down; to overpower; to crush; to bury; to oppress, etc., overpoweringly.

...this is how I'm feeling by everything today...need I say more?

Signs its (not yet) Spring

I took those photos a couple days ago,
when it was starting to warm up,
(so that was at least somewhat hopeful)...

...but then this morning,
we wake up to this...

I really want our winter to be over
now.

The road outside of our house has deep ruts in the snow caused by vehicle tires always driving along the same path. As you drive in the ruts, its familiar and comfortable at first, kind of like you are on the track of an amusement ride— you don't really need to pay attention because the tires are directed by the track.

After awhile though its uncomfortable because you feel stuck and can't get off. In fact, when you do try to get out of them, your tires struggle against the walls of the ruts. When they finally do jump out, your vehicle slides uncontrollably sideways on the icy ridges, till you take control of where you are going again.

Its amazing how the ruts in our lives happen in such a similar way.

I like trees because they seem more resigned to
the way they have to live
than other things do.
~Willa Cather

What do YOU do when its -32 ?

(Actually with the windchill it was -48 (so I guess I should tell you what I ate :)

Today, I played in the studio all day. It felt so good. One boy was sick, one girl didn't have playschool today and one boy stayed home from school...just because it was so cold. They watched TV for awhile and then we made a huge mess with paint, brushes and sponges, paper and journals and some very small Lord of the Rings figures... and then many hours later we cleaned it all up and ate leftover spaghetti.

Its been so long since I have had the time to just play with paint without it being a commission or in preparation for teaching. It was so wonderful. It fills me up in away that nothing else can and yet I easily neglect to make time for it.

I NEED to make more time for "that" in my life.

There are only two kinds of freedom in the world; the freedom of the rich and powerful, and the freedom of the artist and the monk who renounces possessions.

~Anais Nin

...and well of course due to my recent Missy Higgins obsession...we also spent a lot of time listening to her.

What I have been drawing lately...
...a souvenir of a Thailand trip...

A drawing for a "save the date" magnet...

A "pirate party" for a five year old...and a very busy weekend drawing 3 soccer teams...

I have 2 new classes beginning at the Paint Spot this week!

here's one of the books we will be making...

and on the inside...
Come on out and play with us.

Winter work
This January and February has been SO busy with gigs, commissions, teaching and painting. I thought I should post a bit of what I have been working on, so here's some of the caricatures I've done...


and a couple more of the wonderful birthday parties I have drawn at ...

The evolution of a smile...

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile,
but sometimes your smile
can be the source
of your joy.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Winter lightPerhaps you would like to join us at a star party this weekend...

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus

If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power,
but for the passionate sense of potential -- for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.
~Søren Kierkegaard

If there is no struggle, there is no progress.

~Frederick Douglass

A very creative video that Teesha Moore posted on her blog...I love it.